...because there is nothing really new to report. I am bored as always, taking it easy at work every day. But this week has been different. My bosses have been starting to pay attention to me, realizing that I have been without work for a long time now, and tomorrow I will have a discussion with one of them concerning this fact. At least I think that's why... there might be some other things that might be addressed, such as my anti-socialite behaviour, and my general disconcern for everything around me. But we'll see, it should definetely be an eye-opening experience for me. Either the Germans completely retaliate once they realize their employees are doing no work for money, or they work out an agreement that benefits for all. Either way I'm really nervous about tomorrow, because I really have no excuses why I've been doing nothing but surfing the Internet for the last couple of weeks.
The worst part about work is seeing all my colleagues doing important work around me while I do nothing. I could really be helpful in many situations, but they somehow don't want to include me in their projects. It is also my fault for not talking to anyone, but I can't put the blame squarely on myself. There needs to be some communication to move things forward, IMO.
My family as of today is gone on vacation. They were staying with my grandparents the last 2 weeks but now they are headed to Austria and the Czech Republic, to visit friends and family and also to just relax. That's just my parents and my little brother, who I'm sure will be a lot of fun to have around. 8-year-olds can get on ones nerves and I'm glad he'll be gone the next 2 weeks. They will come back again during the first week of August with my sister, who has been singing in a choir for the last week. Some people get all the fun... but at least I'm making some money out of doing nothing all day.
I have started to get addicted to Internet purchases. I throw my Credit Card number around like it's a frisbee. I have spent upwards of $1000 already on all sorts of crap, ranging from DVDs to games to LEGO, of all things. Yes, the childhood plaything that I so loved back then, it has come back with a vengeance in the form of a cool Lego Racers F1-racecar. It is modelled after the Williams/BMW F1 car, and at 1483 pieces it costs about $200 CAN!! Calling me stupid and crazy for purchasing it is an understatement. It was an impulse purchase. My main problem with buying stuff online is that I buy from the most obvious choices, instead of looking for deals. This has probably cost me 100s of dollars in the past, and will be my downfall later in life (ie. buying a car or a house). I'm just really terrible with handling money, I guess.
Now that July is almost over, I am afraid of what August will bring. Perhap (gasp!), actual work? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that possibility, but as I said before, only time will tell what is in store for me. One thing for sure is that if there are no more entries from now on, I am either really busy or have been laid off. Those are the only two options I can see now with my limited vision.
Well I'm sorry this post hasn't been so entertaining, it is mostly for me anyway, being the selfish individual that I am, as a guide post of what the situation was like on this day. All my posts are a sort of mural of my bleak life here in Germany, and my slow progress towards insanity. I wish they never would have given me this stupid documentation-editing job, because what I did with the work I did very poorly. First of all, I don't understand the software that the documention is for. Secondly, my grasp of written technical German is very poor, and the additions I made are embarrassing to read even by me. I can tell when something is written well or not. If you contrast my stuff with what was already there, it is very easy to see what stuff I wrote and what the previous guy wrote. So in short, it's a hack job.
I think that's all I can think of for now. Sometimes I think I'm in the movie Office Space, because I have all these bosses over me I don't even know who to answer to anymore. On a final note I hope that things get better from now on, in the last stretch before I come back home to reality. At least I have unlimited bandwidth and a faster connection to look forward to once I get back, I'm glad Bell changed their ways!
-J.A.N.
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Finally something new to report!
Well today something unexpected happened. I was sitting in the train as usual looking out the window, when in walks this really nice looking chick and sits in the bench across from me! I always dread these moments because then I can't look ahead without making it look like I'm checking them out, so I just kind of take quick glances every now and then. I also use the reflection in the window to my advantage ;-). She was about 160cm or so, sort of red-dyed brown hair tied back behind her, beautiful hazel eyes, full lips, a ring pierced through her cute little nose and yes she also had a nice body to complement her angelic face. She wasn't wearing anything too revealing though, just sort of a grey track suit.
So as I'm checking her out in my non-obvious manner, she proceeds to unzip her top to about mid level, revealing a plunging neckline that gave me a tease peak of her cleavage. That completely took me by surprise, and at first I thought she was trying to seduce me but she didn't really look at me. If only she would smile at least once, I would have melted right there. Of course being me, I didn't try to make eye-contact and just kinda enjoyed the moment, hoping my zipper could withstand the pressure. When we got out in the main train station I was afraid I wouldn't be able to walk without obvious crippling effects, but I think I made it out ok. Wow... I desperately need a girlfriend I think :-\ (or I should buy that digital camera I've been talking about!) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Well now that I've revealed my desperate side (I am human after all, forgive me), here is the story of what happened on the weekend...
My family took me with them on a trip to the western area of Germany, namely the states of Rheinland-Pfalz and Nordrhein-Westfalen. It was neat seeing the slow progression towards flat-country as we drove along. I also liked the many tall wind turbines, I thought they were kinda neat. They are about 150m high and have rotor blades with a diameter of 70m. Every one of the three blades weighs about 8t and is about 34m long. If you're wondering why I know all this it's because I did research on the internet, www.nordex.de.
The car has no air conditioning, like 90% of all cars in Deutschland, so it was open window times the whole way. Our plan was to go north and visit my dad's cousin's family, then an old school friend, next a missionary who had been in South Africa, and to finish the trip with a visit to a family I had stayed with last time I was here (7 years ago).
My dad's cousin let us sleep over at her townhouse for 2 days (friday & saturday), while we would go home on Sunday. We got there an hour late because of some construction work on the autobahn. Anyway, the house was a virtual junkyard inside. There were so many odds & ends sitting and hanging around everywhere that it was hard to breath. I don't know how these people lived there. All the food we ate was terrible and stale, and I was glad to get out when we did. The only good thing inside that house was an old european SNES, which I played with as much as I could get. The kid didn't play anymore, he is more into skateboarding now. How can somebody just give up games like that?
That day we visited my dad's old school buddy from 30 years ago. He is now one of the big bosses of the WITTE company, which designs, tests, and distributes locks for all the major car manufacturers in the World. It was amazing to see how the people worked there and how much went into designing locks and mechanisms for the automobile industry. The simulation and testing machines were just mind blowing into how much detail they went into testing parts. There was even a cool laser machine that could etch out a super-complicated part in just a few hours, whereas it would take several months to design a machine to build the same piece! They did this because they need prototypes quickly, and what did this machine cost? Oh just €2-million. !!! So this dude (his name is Mr. Rückhert), is now the head guy in this company and is responsible for over 2000 workers! Meanwhile my dad works for himself...wow I feel so proud! Actually my dad's cool, he just hasn't had that much luck. We drove to the production plant too, in his nice Audi, and saw them producing the parts in the assembly line. The factory was HUMONGOUS, but he told us that there is one 8X bigger in the Czech Republic where they do most of the production. My dad's actually going there in the next few weeks, perhaps (?) I will join him. So that was a fun day.
The next day we went to the Rhein River with my family and looked at some of the ships in the harbour. That was ok I guess, the harbourfront had a big water lock that was probably made in the 1700s that showed all the previous highwater levels of the Rhein. Some notable heights were like 9m above regular level! Then after lunch we went to visit the missionary from Africa. We watched a video of his time there, and the african people live so plain but yet they really get into it when it comes to a church service. He has a 16-year-old daughter there that me and my sister talked to for a bit. She knew English (British, nice accent) and German, so we talked to her in english. Yes she was kinda cute and blonde but unfortunately not within my age range, so I didn't make any advances.
Then we went to the city of Wuppertal, which has a really cool suspension railway that runs through the city. It goes mostly over the Wupper river, but also goes over a street a little bit too. There was a huge accident there 4 years ago where some people died, but I felt safe on it. It hung from the rails and only had two small waggons. The first way it was really crowded, but then going back to where we left the car I got to sit right behind the driver. The view was pretty cool hanging over the river, and in the corners it also rocked to the side. It was nowhere near as fast as The Vortex at Canada's Wonderland, but had a similar design. Outside at the last stop I also saw a bakery that was called "Nowak's Bakery", that was pretty sweet. So Saturday was also a fun day, but nothing prepared me for Sunday.
On Sunday it was planned that we would go to this church that the family I stayed with 7 years ago went to, and then afterwards stop by their place. I remember the good times we had with the kids back then. It was only me and my oldest sister, and at the time they had 5 kids. To make a long story short, I kinda fell for the second-oldest girl of the family back then.
She is blonde and sort of green-eyed, with an awesome smile and a really athletic body. The most important thing though, was that she made me feel good back then, building up my pathetically small self-esteem. We used to laugh a lot and have fun, and once we got to know each other more (we stayed there 2 weeks), we started to hug and stuff. Remember I was 16 and she was 12, so I was always too afraid to move forward at such a contraversial time (puberty, heh heh). But it seems girls mature quicker than guys. I felt like we had a spiritual connection, like we were meant to be together or something. Yeah I know that's cheesy. But dammit it was my first infatuation, and I'm not embarrassed about it. When we left for Canada back then, she gave me a really long hug and I remember feeling her long hair on my arms, and feeling like electricity was running through my body.
So you can understand how nervous I was to meet with this family again after 7 years. We lost our way to the church because of some shoddy directions, and had to ask people a lot for the way. When we finally found the church and walked in, I saw HER there. She was playing the bass guitar in the worship band, and she looked exactly like I remembered her. Only now, she is 19 years old, so the situation is different... or so I thought. After the church service all the now-older members of the family greeted me and I recognized them all. The only one that didn't greet me was her... only from far off, she mouthed the word"Joram". That was it!? I was so disappointed, and I had a gut feeling at that moment that would later be confirmed... she was taken. :-( :-( :-(
It turns out the oldest sister was gone that week, so I never got to see her. Other bad news was that the father, who I had looked up to, had died from cancer. As we followed the mother's van to their house, I thought back on the good times we had had, and if they could ever be repeated again. The times were so good that I had actually even temporarily forgotten about (gasp!) computer games!! Of course I got back into video games once I was back in Canada almost instantly, but for those brief weeks of bliss, my mind was free from them.
A new girl had been added to the family, so now there are 6 kids. She and the second-youngest look almost exactly the same exept for the size difference. She is only 6 years old, so it must have been really tragic losing her daddy at only 3 years of age! It almost made me choke back tears thinking about it.
So they still lived in the same place. It is a little village called Guldental near the healing springs city of Bad Kreuznach. Some roads leading up to the house were at 45°, I swear! (and yes that is a degrees symbol, the Germans have it on their keyboard why don't we???) Wine country all over that place, where backyards are full of grapevines. Really scenic! We had a barbecue that afternoon, with some really tasty meat and everything was perfect...except that 'my' girl now had a boyfriend. He came with her, and as it turned out, he was my arch-nemesis from 7 years ago! I remember he was really rude to me back then, making fun and just not being very courtious to the Canadian visitor. So that made me sad... she never really talked to me either as she was too busy with him, putting her arms around him, touching him, letting him put his hand on her leg, etc. She also hardly ever smiled anymore, and I was pretty depressed about it. That's why the whole experience there was bittersweet for me. It was a happy reunion, but with reality-bites-type stuff thrown into the mix. On another note, even if she would have been single I don't think I would have made a move anyway, because well, I'm me after all.
I did talk a lot with the third-oldest sister a lot though. I had been good friends with her back then too, but never was infatuated with her like with the second-oldest. We talked about things like old times, careers, school, life. It was the highlight of my time there. She asked me if I still draw, and I told her yes when I'm super bored or want to show off! She is a brunette and looks like her mom, while the other one is more after her late father. They are both pretty girls IMO, but damn these european chicks need to learn to shave their armpits. I think only like 50% of them do, as far as I've seen. It's just nasty, but I guess I'm just conditioned that way. I felt something between us, but I don't know about these feelings anymore. They betray me more often than not...
The only boy in the family is taller than me now at only 14 years of age. He is into skateboarding too just like all his cousins. He has darker skin that looks like a permanent sun tan, with light patches on his knees and elbows. Maybe it's some kinda weird skin condition. Him and my brother and his cousins played games outside, running around the house with wooden and plastic guns and pistols. I just sat listening to people speak. There were about 5 families there, and we were the only family that wasn't related. One cousin of the family I had stayed with had this really hot blonde girlfriend, but she didn't seem too smart to me. That was just my impression, I could be wrong though she could be a genious for all I know. Blonde is good, but intelligence makes it even better!
So in summary: boyhood crush destroyed! But you know, I think it was never meant to be. Why should I be with a German girl if I'm not going to live there? It doesn't make sense really... to tear a girl out of her homeland and force her to live in North America, no I'm not that cruel! I will try to visit the family again this summer, and hopefully I will mend my relationship with the one that I had liked (who was cold as ice this time round), and maybe develop something stronger with the family that goes beyond a dreamlike fantasy world.
To this day I will never understand how people without a tv and video games (them) can have such an enviable lifestyle, so free and content. I mean, I didn't even notice their father had died by the way they acted. My only explanation is that they got Jesus, and that's all they will ever need to live a rich, fulfilling life.
This has probably been my longest entry yet, but I'm glad I did it because I had to get a lot of things off my chest. I feel like these journal entries are a good way to organize my thoughts and learn about myself (after I read them again), and maybe some people who read them might find them amusing, or if not, well screw you nobody forced you to read it!! HA HA HA just joshin.
-Joram "Keep it Real" Nowak
So as I'm checking her out in my non-obvious manner, she proceeds to unzip her top to about mid level, revealing a plunging neckline that gave me a tease peak of her cleavage. That completely took me by surprise, and at first I thought she was trying to seduce me but she didn't really look at me. If only she would smile at least once, I would have melted right there. Of course being me, I didn't try to make eye-contact and just kinda enjoyed the moment, hoping my zipper could withstand the pressure. When we got out in the main train station I was afraid I wouldn't be able to walk without obvious crippling effects, but I think I made it out ok. Wow... I desperately need a girlfriend I think :-\ (or I should buy that digital camera I've been talking about!) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Well now that I've revealed my desperate side (I am human after all, forgive me), here is the story of what happened on the weekend...
My family took me with them on a trip to the western area of Germany, namely the states of Rheinland-Pfalz and Nordrhein-Westfalen. It was neat seeing the slow progression towards flat-country as we drove along. I also liked the many tall wind turbines, I thought they were kinda neat. They are about 150m high and have rotor blades with a diameter of 70m. Every one of the three blades weighs about 8t and is about 34m long. If you're wondering why I know all this it's because I did research on the internet, www.nordex.de.
The car has no air conditioning, like 90% of all cars in Deutschland, so it was open window times the whole way. Our plan was to go north and visit my dad's cousin's family, then an old school friend, next a missionary who had been in South Africa, and to finish the trip with a visit to a family I had stayed with last time I was here (7 years ago).
My dad's cousin let us sleep over at her townhouse for 2 days (friday & saturday), while we would go home on Sunday. We got there an hour late because of some construction work on the autobahn. Anyway, the house was a virtual junkyard inside. There were so many odds & ends sitting and hanging around everywhere that it was hard to breath. I don't know how these people lived there. All the food we ate was terrible and stale, and I was glad to get out when we did. The only good thing inside that house was an old european SNES, which I played with as much as I could get. The kid didn't play anymore, he is more into skateboarding now. How can somebody just give up games like that?
That day we visited my dad's old school buddy from 30 years ago. He is now one of the big bosses of the WITTE company, which designs, tests, and distributes locks for all the major car manufacturers in the World. It was amazing to see how the people worked there and how much went into designing locks and mechanisms for the automobile industry. The simulation and testing machines were just mind blowing into how much detail they went into testing parts. There was even a cool laser machine that could etch out a super-complicated part in just a few hours, whereas it would take several months to design a machine to build the same piece! They did this because they need prototypes quickly, and what did this machine cost? Oh just €2-million. !!! So this dude (his name is Mr. Rückhert), is now the head guy in this company and is responsible for over 2000 workers! Meanwhile my dad works for himself...wow I feel so proud! Actually my dad's cool, he just hasn't had that much luck. We drove to the production plant too, in his nice Audi, and saw them producing the parts in the assembly line. The factory was HUMONGOUS, but he told us that there is one 8X bigger in the Czech Republic where they do most of the production. My dad's actually going there in the next few weeks, perhaps (?) I will join him. So that was a fun day.
The next day we went to the Rhein River with my family and looked at some of the ships in the harbour. That was ok I guess, the harbourfront had a big water lock that was probably made in the 1700s that showed all the previous highwater levels of the Rhein. Some notable heights were like 9m above regular level! Then after lunch we went to visit the missionary from Africa. We watched a video of his time there, and the african people live so plain but yet they really get into it when it comes to a church service. He has a 16-year-old daughter there that me and my sister talked to for a bit. She knew English (British, nice accent) and German, so we talked to her in english. Yes she was kinda cute and blonde but unfortunately not within my age range, so I didn't make any advances.
Then we went to the city of Wuppertal, which has a really cool suspension railway that runs through the city. It goes mostly over the Wupper river, but also goes over a street a little bit too. There was a huge accident there 4 years ago where some people died, but I felt safe on it. It hung from the rails and only had two small waggons. The first way it was really crowded, but then going back to where we left the car I got to sit right behind the driver. The view was pretty cool hanging over the river, and in the corners it also rocked to the side. It was nowhere near as fast as The Vortex at Canada's Wonderland, but had a similar design. Outside at the last stop I also saw a bakery that was called "Nowak's Bakery", that was pretty sweet. So Saturday was also a fun day, but nothing prepared me for Sunday.
On Sunday it was planned that we would go to this church that the family I stayed with 7 years ago went to, and then afterwards stop by their place. I remember the good times we had with the kids back then. It was only me and my oldest sister, and at the time they had 5 kids. To make a long story short, I kinda fell for the second-oldest girl of the family back then.
She is blonde and sort of green-eyed, with an awesome smile and a really athletic body. The most important thing though, was that she made me feel good back then, building up my pathetically small self-esteem. We used to laugh a lot and have fun, and once we got to know each other more (we stayed there 2 weeks), we started to hug and stuff. Remember I was 16 and she was 12, so I was always too afraid to move forward at such a contraversial time (puberty, heh heh). But it seems girls mature quicker than guys. I felt like we had a spiritual connection, like we were meant to be together or something. Yeah I know that's cheesy. But dammit it was my first infatuation, and I'm not embarrassed about it. When we left for Canada back then, she gave me a really long hug and I remember feeling her long hair on my arms, and feeling like electricity was running through my body.
So you can understand how nervous I was to meet with this family again after 7 years. We lost our way to the church because of some shoddy directions, and had to ask people a lot for the way. When we finally found the church and walked in, I saw HER there. She was playing the bass guitar in the worship band, and she looked exactly like I remembered her. Only now, she is 19 years old, so the situation is different... or so I thought. After the church service all the now-older members of the family greeted me and I recognized them all. The only one that didn't greet me was her... only from far off, she mouthed the word"Joram". That was it!? I was so disappointed, and I had a gut feeling at that moment that would later be confirmed... she was taken. :-( :-( :-(
It turns out the oldest sister was gone that week, so I never got to see her. Other bad news was that the father, who I had looked up to, had died from cancer. As we followed the mother's van to their house, I thought back on the good times we had had, and if they could ever be repeated again. The times were so good that I had actually even temporarily forgotten about (gasp!) computer games!! Of course I got back into video games once I was back in Canada almost instantly, but for those brief weeks of bliss, my mind was free from them.
A new girl had been added to the family, so now there are 6 kids. She and the second-youngest look almost exactly the same exept for the size difference. She is only 6 years old, so it must have been really tragic losing her daddy at only 3 years of age! It almost made me choke back tears thinking about it.
So they still lived in the same place. It is a little village called Guldental near the healing springs city of Bad Kreuznach. Some roads leading up to the house were at 45°, I swear! (and yes that is a degrees symbol, the Germans have it on their keyboard why don't we???) Wine country all over that place, where backyards are full of grapevines. Really scenic! We had a barbecue that afternoon, with some really tasty meat and everything was perfect...except that 'my' girl now had a boyfriend. He came with her, and as it turned out, he was my arch-nemesis from 7 years ago! I remember he was really rude to me back then, making fun and just not being very courtious to the Canadian visitor. So that made me sad... she never really talked to me either as she was too busy with him, putting her arms around him, touching him, letting him put his hand on her leg, etc. She also hardly ever smiled anymore, and I was pretty depressed about it. That's why the whole experience there was bittersweet for me. It was a happy reunion, but with reality-bites-type stuff thrown into the mix. On another note, even if she would have been single I don't think I would have made a move anyway, because well, I'm me after all.
I did talk a lot with the third-oldest sister a lot though. I had been good friends with her back then too, but never was infatuated with her like with the second-oldest. We talked about things like old times, careers, school, life. It was the highlight of my time there. She asked me if I still draw, and I told her yes when I'm super bored or want to show off! She is a brunette and looks like her mom, while the other one is more after her late father. They are both pretty girls IMO, but damn these european chicks need to learn to shave their armpits. I think only like 50% of them do, as far as I've seen. It's just nasty, but I guess I'm just conditioned that way. I felt something between us, but I don't know about these feelings anymore. They betray me more often than not...
The only boy in the family is taller than me now at only 14 years of age. He is into skateboarding too just like all his cousins. He has darker skin that looks like a permanent sun tan, with light patches on his knees and elbows. Maybe it's some kinda weird skin condition. Him and my brother and his cousins played games outside, running around the house with wooden and plastic guns and pistols. I just sat listening to people speak. There were about 5 families there, and we were the only family that wasn't related. One cousin of the family I had stayed with had this really hot blonde girlfriend, but she didn't seem too smart to me. That was just my impression, I could be wrong though she could be a genious for all I know. Blonde is good, but intelligence makes it even better!
So in summary: boyhood crush destroyed! But you know, I think it was never meant to be. Why should I be with a German girl if I'm not going to live there? It doesn't make sense really... to tear a girl out of her homeland and force her to live in North America, no I'm not that cruel! I will try to visit the family again this summer, and hopefully I will mend my relationship with the one that I had liked (who was cold as ice this time round), and maybe develop something stronger with the family that goes beyond a dreamlike fantasy world.
To this day I will never understand how people without a tv and video games (them) can have such an enviable lifestyle, so free and content. I mean, I didn't even notice their father had died by the way they acted. My only explanation is that they got Jesus, and that's all they will ever need to live a rich, fulfilling life.
This has probably been my longest entry yet, but I'm glad I did it because I had to get a lot of things off my chest. I feel like these journal entries are a good way to organize my thoughts and learn about myself (after I read them again), and maybe some people who read them might find them amusing, or if not, well screw you nobody forced you to read it!! HA HA HA just joshin.
-Joram "Keep it Real" Nowak
Tuesday, July 1, 2003
The hate swells up inside me more every day
I woke up today wondering what I was going to do at work today. I am now sitting here doing nothing at all, except editing the stupid manual again. The dumb thing is that other people in the department are writing manuals for the same thing I'm doing, but they are way more technical because they understand the software. I don't know how I will get through 2 more months like this, something has to give soon.
On Friday we had a little party to inaugerate the new hall across the street. It's pretty much a big warehouse where they put machines together and test them out. There are also some offices at the top with a nice view into the main area, if that is your definition of a nice view. There was some speeches at the beginning by some of the head people, including the boss of the company. He's not the big boss of teamtechnik, just of this particular location. He showed a bunch of statistics and stuff and how the company's growing. Some other guy also mentioned all the new workers since the last time they had an assembly, and I was mentioned as someone from Canada doing a practical course. WHAT?? They don't even know what I'm doing here, I thought at least somebody knew. Oh well I guess I'm the most expendible person in the company. That just confirmed my usefullness to me, and I felt even worse than usual. He also mentioned that internet use at the company will have to decrease, so we are only allowed to surf during our lunch break now. That's ok I guess, but I think I will die without a constant stream of internet all day. Then we got free beer and food, but I just ate some food and then left. It was raining like crazy, but the rain here in Germany is pretty weak compared to real rain that we know, I barely even felt it!
Gas is so expensive here I noticed the other day. About €1.15 per litre, which is about $1.70. That's crazy, so most people have diesel cars, except even that fuel costs more than our gasoline. Cars also seem weaker here, even though there are steeper and more frequent hills to get over! Sometimes I'm walking and I hear a weeny engine behine me, expecting a Mini or something. But then I turn around and it's a huge van! I don't know how they do it seriously.
The reason why I don't have any work is mostly my fault though, now that I look at it. I'm too afraid to confront my manager about more work, because I like taking it easy. But there is a limit to how easy you can take things, especially if you are milking your work to every last drop. I'm afraid that the new work will be hard stuff, and I will actually have to think about something. I am sort of on vaction from work, and they think I'm doing a practical course here instead of really doing something. I was supposed to prepare a list of problems I found in the program, as well as topics that needed descriptions. That was done more than a month ago, and I still haven't showed it to anyone. I'm too chicken to go out of my little comfort zone, and I think it will cost me big time once my manager finds out I've been doing nothing but generating fake work all over June. I'll just wait and see what happens like always.
Well that's all of my boring life for now. There's really not much more to tell. Life sucks, and will only go downhill from here... now it's back to taking it easy and pretending to be doing something useful! weeeeeeeeeeeee
-Jack 'a' Ninny
On Friday we had a little party to inaugerate the new hall across the street. It's pretty much a big warehouse where they put machines together and test them out. There are also some offices at the top with a nice view into the main area, if that is your definition of a nice view. There was some speeches at the beginning by some of the head people, including the boss of the company. He's not the big boss of teamtechnik, just of this particular location. He showed a bunch of statistics and stuff and how the company's growing. Some other guy also mentioned all the new workers since the last time they had an assembly, and I was mentioned as someone from Canada doing a practical course. WHAT?? They don't even know what I'm doing here, I thought at least somebody knew. Oh well I guess I'm the most expendible person in the company. That just confirmed my usefullness to me, and I felt even worse than usual. He also mentioned that internet use at the company will have to decrease, so we are only allowed to surf during our lunch break now. That's ok I guess, but I think I will die without a constant stream of internet all day. Then we got free beer and food, but I just ate some food and then left. It was raining like crazy, but the rain here in Germany is pretty weak compared to real rain that we know, I barely even felt it!
Gas is so expensive here I noticed the other day. About €1.15 per litre, which is about $1.70. That's crazy, so most people have diesel cars, except even that fuel costs more than our gasoline. Cars also seem weaker here, even though there are steeper and more frequent hills to get over! Sometimes I'm walking and I hear a weeny engine behine me, expecting a Mini or something. But then I turn around and it's a huge van! I don't know how they do it seriously.
The reason why I don't have any work is mostly my fault though, now that I look at it. I'm too afraid to confront my manager about more work, because I like taking it easy. But there is a limit to how easy you can take things, especially if you are milking your work to every last drop. I'm afraid that the new work will be hard stuff, and I will actually have to think about something. I am sort of on vaction from work, and they think I'm doing a practical course here instead of really doing something. I was supposed to prepare a list of problems I found in the program, as well as topics that needed descriptions. That was done more than a month ago, and I still haven't showed it to anyone. I'm too chicken to go out of my little comfort zone, and I think it will cost me big time once my manager finds out I've been doing nothing but generating fake work all over June. I'll just wait and see what happens like always.
Well that's all of my boring life for now. There's really not much more to tell. Life sucks, and will only go downhill from here... now it's back to taking it easy and pretending to be doing something useful! weeeeeeeeeeeee
-Jack 'a' Ninny
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